More on Single Parenthood

The post titled "Nobody Gets Married Anymore, Mister" continues to attract thoughtful comment. Here's an example from a reader named Mike:

I am a Christian, and therefore hold to the traditional idea that sex and child rearing are intended exclusively for marriage. I have been married for almost 15 years, and my wife and I have five children. In our experience, the traditional Christian conviction of sex and parenthood only within marriage has shown itself to be true on a number of different points. One of the most important has been the well-being of our children.

All of my four school-age children attend public schools. The oldest is twelve and has recently become aware of, and been troubled by, the very unstable family lives of his friends. Some are in single-parent homes. Some have moms and dads living with boyfriends and girlfriends. Some have parents who are in the process of getting divorced. If I had not understood before I was married why marriage is so important for bringing up children, I certainly do now.

In such a churning sea of dysfunction and relational uncertainty, it is an anchor of assurance and stability to my children that they know their parents are committed to each other, for better or for worse, in sickness and health, for good times and bad, as husband and wife, till death do us part. Commitment necessarily means the elimination of certain options. Marriage commitment should mean that divorce is not an option (thus "'till death do you part"). The fact that my wife are committed to each other in this way is communicated to my children by the fact that we are married.

I have never understood a legitimate reason why a couple who is logistically and financially able to get married would choose not to. It has always seemed to me that making the choice to live together and even to have children without being married is for each person in the relationship to communicate the following to the other:

"I have strong feelings for you, and enjoy your company. I'm sexually attracted to you and want us to be sexually involved with each other. My feelings are so strong for you that I would even like for us to have a child together. But ultimately my commitment to you is based on how you make me feel. Though I don't necessarily want it to happen, I realize there may come a time in the future when my feelings for you will fluctuate, and because those feelings are the basis of our relationship, it would be good if we are able to part ways at that time without too many strings attached. So let's not make trouble for ourselves in the future by becoming husband and wife now and taking on all the potential legal burdens. I do love you, but ultimately you're not worth banking my entire future on."

I'm not saying that this is what's in the minds of all unwed parent/couples, but I do have a hard time seeing anything but this, or something like it, at work in the decision making of couples who intentionally choose not to get married. What am I missing?

Thoughts? Is Mike missing anything?