Dog Eat Dog Campaign

The Democrats and their allies in the major media are laboring to convince us that Mitt Romney would make a terrible president because he's a terrible human being. As proof they submit the fact that on a family vacation a quarter century ago they transported their dog in a carrier strapped to the roof of the car. This is a chilling demonstration, we are to believe, of Romney's fundamental inhumanity and his unsuitability for office.

Meanwhile, as the media busies themselves uncovering these atrocities in Romney's past, the incumbent has not been able to submit a budget worthy of a single Democrat vote for two years, has amassed more national debt than all other presidents combined, and has been helpless to bring unemployment down to where it was when he took office. His primary achievement, Obamacare, teeters on the brink of being thrown out by the Supreme Court, and we are more divided as a people today than we were even under the Bush administration. Things seem to be in dire disrepair and the media is all aflutter about a faux war on women and dogs on the tops of cars.

But worse. Romney supporters slyly point us to the fact that Mr. Obama admits in his autobiography that as a lad he actually ate dogs. Oh, the horror! Not only this, but we actually have documentation of Adolf Hitler being given the news that his own beloved Fluffy was one of Mr. Obama's repasts.

We can be sure that the liberal media will do all they can to suppress this footage lest people who yawn at skyrocketing debt and unemployment grow outraged that Mr. Obama consumed Fluffy: