Friday, February 4, 2005

More Gators in the Moat

The talented Tom Graffagnino posts this clever piece of verse at Without Excuse Creations:

"More Gators in the Moat!"
or
("Piltdown! Man the Iv'ry Towers!")

The Supernaturalists are coming!
Egad! By land!...
....By sea and boat!
Piltdown! Man the Iv'ry Towers!
Quick! .....
More 'gators in the moat!

Don't they know our Theory's Fittest!?
How dare they challenge you and me!?
O my Gawd! Can you imagine!?
We shan't allow this Heresy!

Call the Bio-Bishop Council!
Convene the Cardinals from their perch!
Yo! Onward Evo-Soldiers!
We must defend Pope Darwin's Church!

Kids today know how we got here....
It took a while....
But they believe!
Magik Microbe straight to Shakespeare!
What more could "Lucky Mud" achieve!?

No! We mustn't give them access,
To our children made so bright.
Darwinistas! Man your stations!
No Debate!
Comrades, Unite!

Battle Cry: "From Scales to Feathers!"
Battle Hymn: "From Mud to Man!"
And the drumbeat in the background?....
Censorship!
Impose the Ban!

Rowdy Red-State Rabble-Rousers,
Knuckle-dragging Retro-Brains....
Keep your thinking in the Ghetto.
Hey, monkey!....
Mother Nature Reigns!

So, Battle Stations, Nature's Chosen!
Priests of Darwin, clean their clocks!
This ain't no monkey business....
Stand your ground, Ye Orthodox!

There!
The hoi-poloi's advancing!
Raise the drawbridge right away!
Sir, defending "Fortress Darwin",
Is the order of the day!

Sister "Lucy"! Man the Ramparts!
From high above, look down your nose,
On those attacking our assumptions.....
Who claim the case just isn't closed!

Don your helmet and your breastplate....
Our metaphysics they dislike.
The Naked Apes just keep-a-comin'...
Quick!.....
More fingers in the Dike!

Gird your loins, Ye Missing Linkers!
The Great Unwashed we shall defeat!
My! Their Wedge of Doubt grows sharper....
I'm not so sure that they'll retreat!

Yes! Defending Darwin's Castle's
Our Crusade.....and Sacred Cow.
Clarence Darrow wouldn't like it...
But some debates we can't allow!

We're entrenched in Naturalism...
We're locked in...Unbending, too.
"Liberal" Thought's not always healthy,
When we're beseiged like me and you!

So, ever "Onward Evo-Soldier"!
Fight the Fight!
And spread The Word!
Naturalism's Fundamental!
Keep the Faith, Ye Undeterred!

Very witty, and it makes an important point: Darwinism is a indeed a religion. It offers its votaries a creation myth (Life arose by chance in a primordial sea), an answer to the question of life's meaning (to perpetuate the species or at least one's genes), a ground for morality ("Right" is whatever conduces to survival), and an answer to the question of where we are going (When we die we return to the earth so that our matter may continue on as part of the great cycle of life).

Darwinism, by offering us an opportunity to "liberate the human spirit" from superstition and clerical oppression, affords us a vehicle for "salvation". It moreover maintains a priestly class of scientists and philosophers who pontificate on matters of doctrine, faith, and practice, and it proudly boasts a pantheon of saints who have gone on before. It embodies a worldview that encompasses every aspect of life. It cherishes its dogmas and orthodoxies, defending them assiduously against challenge from heretics, and traces its beginnings to the holy scriptures recorded by its founder in the Origin of Species.

Nancy Pearcey, in her book Total Truth, quotes philosopher and Darwinian Michael Ruse, who says that "I must admit that....the [critics of evolution] are absolutely right. Evolution is a religion. This was true of evolution in the beginning and it is true of evolution still today."

She also quotes from historian Jacques Barzun who writes that the so-called warfare between science and religion should really be seen as the "warfare between two philosophies and perhaps two faiths." It's a dispute, he writes, "between believers in consciousness and believers in mechanical action; the believers in purpose and the believers in pure chance."

Precisely. The fundamental difference between Darwinism and Christianity is that Christianity traces the origin of the world and of life back to an intelligence whereas Darwinism traces it back to random, purposeless forces. Both Darwinism and Christianity are thus grounded in metaphysical faith commitments, and from those commitments flow all of their differences.